A Crime Six-Pack

Although I'd venture a guess that licking a cop's computer while they're checking you for DUI never has an end result in your favor......after a night of drinking a man has to eat! SF Chronicle

My theory about dicking around with a cop's equipment while under suspicion for driving drunk applies here also.....although it's multiplied when you steal their cruiser.  United Press

So this isn't about alcohol but hey the "rules" here are very vague to say the least plus this guy's kids are mark-ass marks......or is it trick-ass marks.  AZ Central

Apparently Duff-Man moved on to drugs......Sun Gazette

BAC of .37 at 10:30pm, check out the balls on this guy.  Clumsy Crooks

And finally if I can give any advice it's this: I fully support the injured foot claim to try to get out of a sobriety test, but if you're going to really sell it by showing the cop your foot.....might want to check the ankle holster beforehand.  NWF Daily News

Seriously.....these guys might be geniuses.

Not to keep posting these guys' videos but this is even more impressive than the last two.  Carpentry skills aside this pretty much how I imagine MacGyver getting drunk......or MacGruber I guess.....whichever is more relevant in 2011.  Anyway, go to Youtube and subscribe to these guys....seriously.....do it.

Double Grenade FTW

As an alcohol blog, I'd be remiss if I didn't post this video for the double grenade; also called the inception grenade.  This has to land near the top spot of creative ways to get drunk as quickly as possible.  I mean, you could just drink liquor straight from the bottle....but why do that when you can piece together this elaborate maze of alcohol hell. 

Another video of the "Drinking for keeps" guys making an Ulitmate Pousse Cafe after the jump if getting silly drunk as quickly as possible is your thing.

Alcohol and the news...perfect together 2

As a big NFL fan, this is my favorite drunk story currently.  The handsome man above is Colts punter Pat McAfee, found very drunk, shirtless, and wet....but strangely with no Vince Young in sight.  What's up with Colts kickers not being able to hold their liquor?  Peyton Manning better get these guys in the game so they aren't so bored.  TMZ

Something about a drunk 71 year old with a legit "I don't give a damn" attitude gives me something to aspire to when I get to that age....assuming I do.......the living in Wisconsin part.....not so much.  Wauwatosa Now

A woman woke up to some strange man showering in her house?!  This is like one of my worst nightmares.  Enjoying a nice shower after a night of boozing only to realize..."This is not my beautiful house.  This is not my beautiful wife...." nevermind.  News.com.au

The moral to this story is: if you are a pansy and your physically superior wife demands you bring home vodka.....you damn well better bring home vodka like a good little bitch......or you could just get beat up, stuck, and have to press charges against your wife I suppose.  NWF Daily News

Virginia Lightning

Here we have the utterly horrendous Virginia Lightning corn whiskey.  This is the perfect liquor to pour for someone if you either hate them or want a better than average chance of watching them vomit.  Rarely have I had as awful an experience drinking a liquor as I have with this vile fluid.
Virginia Lightning is described simply enough as:
 Virginia Lightning is a traditional fresh corn whiskey (moonshine).  It is twice-distilled the old fashioned way with home grown corn.
Strangely, they leave out the part where it tastes like a cross between rubbing alcohol, a tetanus infected foot, and a tire iron to the face.....basically it tastes awful.

Del Maguey Minero

Ahhhhh mescal (for the purposes of this review, mezcal).  I should preface this by saying I am definitely a tequila guy.  That could be the reason that of all the people who tried this with me, I was the only one who didn't immediately look like they wanted to commit a homicide. 
The label on the bottle describes this mezcal as:
Using natural processes over four hundred years old, the village palenquero (maker) captures the true body and spirit of mezcal with only two ingredients: water and the heart of the maguey (agave). The hearts of maguey are roasted over hot stones in a pit in the ground for three to five days covered with earth. They are then ground to a mash using horse-powered stone mills, followed by a long period of natural fermentation in wooden vats and finally distilled twice, very slowly, in wood-fired clay or copper stills.  Their flavor has been described as smokey, true, deep and warm.
Pay close attention to the last sentence....well....you really only need to pay attention to "smokey."  There's an easy way to decide if mezcal is right for you.

Alcohol and the news...perfect together



49-year-old Phillip Ingram is this week's honorable mention.  Sometimes you have to show those Georgia good ol' boys that you don't give a damn!  Fox Atlanta

This girl seems fun....although really this is pretty standard in Panama City Beach.  nwf daily news

2 important points here:  One of the reasons I love Canada, even the police know how to party.  Second if you have a facebook profile and post pictures and don't make your profile private...you're an idiot and it is going to ruin your life.  Vancouver Sun

Finally, without question, this weeks winner are drunken pirates....which will always be a winner by the way.  Plus this article has links to other drunk stuff so less work for me!  Metro